Jessica "Obsessive Compulsive" Rodriguez


  • Name: Jessica "Obsessive Compulsive" Rodriguez Rodriguez Rodriguez Rodriguez Rodriguez
  • Date of Birth: March 30, 1982. That makes me 140 in dog years. Heee....
  • First Played Crumpets: It was then during the two thousandth and second year of time, when the lord spake from atop the almighty tower of Templin: "Jessica, thou shalt play crumpets." And so she did. And the lord said, "this is good !"
  • Hobbies: Sailors, organizing my closet, reorganizing my closet, blasting early 90's rap music, sailors, and staring at my guitar, pretending I know how to play it. And sailors.
  • What Other Players Say About Her: "Jessica is a real inspiration out on that field," says friend Kate Borniger. "I'll never forget the first time I played the game, when she whacked the monkey-butt-loving crap out of my face. Talk about showing me the ropes! Her admirable team spirit extended even further recently, when she ripped off the face of the opposing team's goalie, Robbie Overton. She proceeded to tear him apart limb by limb, quickly taking on the appearance of a rabid dog and gnawing on the remains of his left leg. Foam seeped from the corners of her mouth as she beat Robbie's torso one last time with her mangled crumpet stick. She then raised her arms in victory and exclaimed 'Manatee?! I'll show you manatee!!!' That, my friends, is a team player."
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